Do, or do not. There is no try.
I have been training Jedi Knights for 200 years and it's time I gave something back to the community. Training to be a Jedi isn't really that hard, in fact you can do it in the comfort of your own home using patience and determination.
It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. If you'd rather avoid the penetration I can show you how to enjoy the benefits without sacrificing too much of your dignity.
One of the main benefits of the force is that it can help you to live forever. But, you shouldn't be chasing this! If you are an inherently evil person just looking for immortality then I am not the little green ferret that you seek. You need the blog of my arch-nemeses, Sith Happens, instead.
Parsecs and the Kessel Run
As a distinguished academic of the galaxy, many people ask for my opinion over the fact that a Parsec is a unit of distance rather than time. Did the Millenium Falcon cut a corner somewhere and is that what's so impressive?
Really, I wouldn't worry about it. The fact is that if you want to start questioning the logic and authenticity of my universe then there are far more preposterous places to start. Anyway, I never even met Han Solo (despite being old friends with his lover, Chewbacca), so I haven't a clue if the claim is true.
Above all else...
We're keepers of the peace, not soldiers - Mace Windu
There's nothing here but love people.